My apologies to the escarole

The thing is, I have a very complicated relationship with beans. They are an unpredictable beast. But every time I make a batch of dreamy, creamy beans (from dried) I figure I've got them licked.

I don't.

With regards to the infamous case of the cannelini and escarole, I had just come down off of the adrenaline rush of making perfect (but I mean perfect!) garbonzo beans for something else entirely unrelated and for which perfection (in a bean) wasn't even required. So feeling just a little cocky, I'm standing stovefront thinking I can turn a bag full of dried-up, wrinkly old falling-apart beans into something majestic.

That said, the finished product, while hardly majestic, was also less bad than I previously thought. And the dish as a whole is pleasant in a not-much-in-the-house-but-dammit-I-should-really-eat-some-dark-and-leafy-greens way.

But should you want to make it yourself? Do it. Just buy real beans. In bulk, if possible, but at the very least something that's been packed in-house. (Just don't buy anything that comes with a label, unless maybe the label is in a foreign language from a place where beans are revered as they should be.) I guarantee, if a place is taking the time to measure out and package their beans, it's 'cause they're selling them. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself.

Right. So soak:
1 cup beans overnight or whatever you do.
Drain and rinse and add to a pot with:
1 c stock/water/you know the drill
enough water to cover by 1 in (in a medium-sized pan)
1 small onion (quartered)
1 small carrot (quartered)
2 smashed garlic cloves (smashed like with the side of your knife or a rolling pin or something, not smashed like crushed in a garlic press)
1 bay leaf
1 T oil
salt
Bring to a boil, cover and reduce to a simmer 1-1.5 hrs.

Do this whenever. They'll kick around in the fridge for a couple of days just fine:
1 head escarole
1/4 c oil
3 cloves garlic, sliced
Generous pinch red pepper flakes
s and p, 1/2 lemon

Get ready to braise.

Clean that escarole like nobody's business. They're dirty little buggers. (I love dirty produce.) Rip it into little-ish pieces. Heat oil, toss in garlic just a couple of minutes, then start adding escarole 'till it wilts. Bit by bit. Then add a little s and p.

Now take the carrot, onion and bay leaf from the beans and spoon the beans and their liquid (not too much) into the escarole. Bring to a simmer, cover, adjust to a low simmer and braise about 20 min.

Squeeze lemon, add more s and p if necessary, and drizzle good oil, if desired.

Absolutely serve with bread. Good bread. A baguette from the North Pole, slathered with butter, does me fine.

More later about how, while I aspire to be Rev. Biggles or Mallika or Kevin, I always seem to wind up making pseudo-vegan fare.